Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Scientists stunned after detecting unexpected shift in Antarctic Ice Sheet: 'A historic turnaround' - Yahoo

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I actually pay taxes

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Is homosexuality an excommunicable offense in Christianity?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

DePaul soccer player Chase Stegall dies in residence hall - Chicago Sun-Times

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have a reading level above third grade

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Subway owner buys mega-popular chicken chain in $1 billion deal - AL.com

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Undercover cops in New York are riding the subways with iPods on to entice robbery. Is that a form of entrapment? If not, why not?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I understand how hurricane paths work

Trans athlete embraced as California track and field champion by peers while adult activists duel - San Francisco Chronicle

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

The mystery rise of lung cancer in non-smokers - BBC

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

South Korea’s opposition leader Lee wins election as voters punish conservatives after martial law chaos - CNN

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

A particle from the farthest reaches of the universe has been detected at the bottom of the Mediterranean Sea. - Farmingdale Observer

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I can count

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Why do Democrats look like snowflakes and Republicans look like Vikings?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I can read

Random Eagles notes: Bryce Huff trade perhaps signals some confidence in Azeez Ojulari - PhillyVoice

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Royals calling up red-hot top prospect Jac Caglianone less than year after being drafted - New York Post

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have complete contempt for fakery

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I see through liars

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee